So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
