the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
