that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
