I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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