Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
