I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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