Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
