do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
