I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
