is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
