If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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