I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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