I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
