Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
