Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize