you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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