she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
