forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
