Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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