let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
i think my cat just said my name.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
