Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
