if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
