You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
