When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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