Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
