And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
