Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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