new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
