this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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