I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
