Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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