I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
