What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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