I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
