I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
