this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
