i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
someone owes me an orgasm
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
