Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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