The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
