Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
