Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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