Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
