he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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