I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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