you would pick up someone in the library
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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