shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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