Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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