perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
