Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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