Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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